Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A good test for conversation...

"If you wouldn't write it and sign your name to it, don't say it."

This year I had the typical goals: losing weight, quitting smoking, etc. Yet here I am - haven't lost a pound and still dead set on getting cancer. So I figured, although we're already 5 months into the year, I better set a goal that may be just as unrealistic, but at the end of the year if I've met my goal, I'll be happier with myself than I would be as a skinny, non-smoker.

I want to be nice. And I mean genuinely a really nice person. Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't say I'm mean, cold hearted, arrogant, or unlikeable at all; but like most people, I indulge in the occasional gossip, and wouldn't exactly say that I treat people with as much respect behind their backs as I do to their face. It's hard though, ya know? You hear so-and-so is preggo, or messed around with you know who, or the good ol' he said she said drama and sometimes it's just too juicy to keep to yourself. I'm very open and honest when it comes to my inability to keep secrets though. My other downfall is I'm a venter. I love my friends to death, and completely value their friendship, but when I'm irritated about something I vent. I probably say things I don't mean, and definitely say things that I would never care to say to their face simply to spare their feelings. I know I'm not the only one guilty of this. Lord knows I listen to my fair share of venting. I just need to learn when it's an appropriate subject to vent about I suppose. I definitely need to keep in mind the above quote: "If I wouldn't write it down and sign my name to it, I shouldn't say it." Harder said than done, I'm sure. But it's definitely something that's worth the effort. I know it would hurt my feelings if I found out my friend had said something hurtful about me behind my back, so I definitely no longer want to be on the other side of things being the one saying the hurtful things. Soooo, needless to say, I'm a work in progress.

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