Thursday, November 11, 2010

Ich liebe Dich

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:5-7

Remember your first love? The undeniably intense feelings and emotions that came with it? It's impossible to forget the first time you fell. It's embedded in your memory. The love, passion and excitement along with the hurt, distrust and anxiety. I remember thinking, after my first relationship ended, that I would never love again. Well, that was clearly an over-exaggeration - I did go on to love again. But how does that first love affect your future love life? First relationships can be intense, passionate and inspire a great deal of bad poetry. But, according to new research, if you want to find happiness in later life, it is best to avoid puppy love altogether. First loves can set unrealistic benchmarks against which we judge our future relationships. Are first loves exciting, unpredictable and passionate because we are naive? It's possible. If you spend your life searching for a relationship that is reliable and committed, yet also exciting and spontaneous, those are almost opposing qualities. If you emotionally fixate on having the excitement, while knowing you need the reliability, you're making demands that no relationship can satisfy. But on the other hand, the human heart has no limit to the amount of love and passion it can feel. It is truly a bottomless well. Limitations can be imposed by the mind, but you can always choose to lift the limitations, thus making it possible to feel the intensity from a first relationship again.
I was reading a question from "Yahoo Answers" earlier, which is what brought this on, and this girl was asking if she should stay with this "wonderful" guy she was in a relationship with, although it lacked the intensity from her first relationship, or should she continue looking for a relationship that had all of the passion and excitement she missed? She was wondering if it's only your first love that is so intense because your naive, or if it was possible to feel that way again, and that her current love just wasn't the "one". I thought that the "best answer" had a very interesting point - She said that she, too, had been in a similar situation, but she found that "spark" again. She said, "I guess its up to you to decide if you can live without that intensity and settle for wonderful instead." Personally, I think that's brilliant!

That's all for now..

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